i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
So I was gonna stay in tonight but the president got me motivated! I will not quit. Bars here I come.
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
There are bud lights poping out of the zipper of my overnight bag and my dildo almost fell out in the elevator. not professional
Um I just overheard that the new guy spent a month in jail. Obvi another great hire.
I feel like I'm taking part in a surprise porno. At least my hair looked good.
So I passed out with my boxers on in the hotel jacuzzi at 5am.. The manager who kicked me out was pretty cute so I left my name and number for her at the front desk. I'm giving it a 50/50 she calls.
He fucked a girl named Oreo... He deserved syphilis.
Your list of "good ideas" thumbtacked to the lampshade last night consisted of nothing but "tampon-pen" with a note indicating that girls could then always have something to write with, even naked.
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
When that bartender tried to tell us he sang like Sade, I knew it was time to go
I woke up with gum stuck to my nipple piercings this morning.. So there's that.
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
Even my conscience is telling me to take this Wednesday's exam buzzed.
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
Randomize
