Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
You hit on my mom and then passed out in the kiddie pool.
she was rubbing her elbow against the fish tank and laughing hysterically then she said I'M THEIR FISHY GOD and watched harry potter
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
While I faked being asleep, he literally prayed to God out loud, asking for forgiveness for losing his virginity before marriage.
So there I was praying he didn't go limp again, choking on a long, long gray ball hair. This is my Saturday night. This. Is. My. Life.
IT'S LINGERIE PURCHASED FROM A FLEA MARKET, THE ONLY THING IT'S GOING TO BE POSITIVE FOR IS A TEST FOR HIV
I just power smoked 3 bongs, ate hot cocoa mix before making hot cocoa, and realized James Spader's character on The Office reminds me of your mom.
Please tell me you did not shit your Disney princess costume.
He fucked me for my Netflix login, I fucked him for his HBO login, and actually I think that's beautiful
I saw his new girlfriend. She was flashing people, short and kinda chubby. I was happy with my life after that.
It's dangerous to be this horny at work. I'm gonna stain my desk chair
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
Randomize
