your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
Next time, if you wake and bake, make sure you nail the wake part. Not easy to explain to mum. Or the fire brigade.
I just said that Oprah is crazy and like 5 fat white girls jumped down my throat. I sat back and smiled.
after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
I swear, its like my old fuck buddies have a 6th sense for when I'm going to be daydrunk. Then they start texting me. And then I start sexting them
Number of twigs I found in my hair: 5
You never know how much you love your bed until you sleep with 4 other people in your car.
Just bought shock top, Trojans, double shots and baby oil. At 8 am. While the lady in front of me bitched about her expired coupons.
You're more than welcome to join us! There's red velvet cake and apparently my pants are open for business I didn't consent to this
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
He literally had a Trump sign in his front yard. I just can't now.
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
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