Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
I love hooters. This dumb bartender is saying how coffee dehydrates you so that's why she sometimes just eats the coffee grinds wake up.
After you took the handle off the bathroom door I had to coach the Scottish guy sitting on the toilet, throwing up in his own lap, how to put his pants back on. Yes, I think he won the drinking game.
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
I would take a bullet for Beyonce's baby
Tis the season to puke in grandma's bathroom
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
You strapped the bucket of KFC into the carseat and refused to let me drive over 20 miles per hour the whole ride home. That high.
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
Oh shit that's not good dude. I'd head straight for Williamsport hospital the first ingredient in that shit is lithium batteries. You don't want to know what the second one is
Someone should walk up to them and say, "We're sorry, you're too hot to be out here with the other humans."
Randomize
