i left the bar a little after you and ended up flipping my car in the arbys drive thru
can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
so apparently mom and dad slept together on the first date
i guess it runs in the family.
Also I'd like you to set a calendar reminder that goes off every day for you to take 2 minutes to think about what your life would be like without me.
This is the high leading the old right now
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
Waking up in a NH rest stop and reading through my texts is definitely a familiar low
I'm putting my hangover kit in my car for the trip to work tomorrow morning. Dedication
You've never really lived until you tell someone you have an STD over snap chat.
He made me a flamingo drink and now I don't know why things are the way they are.
What did we do last night and why in the fuck were there carrots in my pocket?
You mom sent me some article linking anal sex, damaged prostates and sterility. Does she still think your gonna go straight and have kids one day?
Randomize
