a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
So, just so you know... Your vasectomy worked.
bonus
today is like waiting for pizza day in elementary school, but with sex added
i wanna give whoever invented massage chairs a blow job.
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
I'm having one of my monday morning walk of shame coffees if you care to join.
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
You attract beautiful men with jobs. I attract ONE WITH A SOUL PATCH.
it was a sexy soul patch.
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
Feels weird riding an elevator with my tongue in my own mouth.
Its like a glacier coming out of my asshole.
Just do what I do and listen to your vagina. She’ll growl when she smells good dick
Randomize
