Doo rag and shades in the bar. You are missing your future husband.
Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
Dude turns out her best friend is lesbian...there is no wingman for this situation
I'm sitting in the middle of them on his bed, forcing them to watch Brokeback Mountain. I am the best cock blocker ever.
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
Told him I'd blow him in the bathroom. There was a giant window everyone was looking thru. He whipped it out n I burst out laughing n walked away. Even blackout drunk I set the bar high. You should be proud.
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
A fair warning: I don't think a cop will let you off the hook just because your birthday is on New Year's Eve
I just got hit with cramps and found a mystery pill. I'm gonna stay put for an hour and at least see what happens.
my whole checking account just had a funeral down bourban street, paid for that, and then bought everyone 5 shots of fireball...
Are you the reason I woke up without pants?
So that guy from plenty of fish has a lightning bolt tattooed on his face. I kinda feel like I HAVE to sleep with him now.
Only you could get too drunk for taco bell. I don't know if I'm jealous or ashamed. Go to bed.
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