My little sister just found a condom in her bag i borrowed... Happy fourteenth birthday.
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
I've just never had a dinner guest strut in, go directly to my bathroom, vomit.. then come out demanding whiskey and food.
He came so hard he burst a blood vessel in his eye. Do I have to take him to the ER? because I'm too tired for this shit.
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
Well you finally jumped into that tree you've always wanted into and some girl gave you an 8.5. You were very happy.
Lesson learnt. Sex toy cleaning spray is not an acceptable substitute to clean your glasses with.
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
We decided it was a good idea to go streaking through the campus. Everything was fine until the sprinklers turned on and we realized the keys were in his pocket.
My fuck it list is complete! I finally got a firefighter!
We're sitting on the kitchen floor drinking and talking about mounting real light sabers to the dog's head.
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
Randomize