Define "chronic" masturbator.
so i saw this homeless guy this morning yelling at a pay phone like chewbacca.
That's what you get for being in filth-adelphia.
my head feels like I tried to put alcohol out of business last night
I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
The only way I can describe this shit is male aloe vera plant in both looks and feel its standing in the toilet
Thanks for that....my girlfriend picked up my phone and saw that
Welp, dad and I drunkenly sang Christmas carols until the police told us to stop. I vote Xmas eve a success
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
I think someone is dead in a car across the street
Scratch that, dude's getting a blow job
Randomize
