You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
Amanda Bynes on the cover of maxim is my 8th grade masturbation fantasy come to life
I woke up on a futon with 2 stolen budwiesers in my purse, 5 extra bucks, a sucker stuck to my shoe, one sock, and a stolen copy of the zombie survival guide
please tell me this is not legit
in the morning i found her name, number and address on one of the empty pizza boxes. also said "ps. if you find my shoes please mail to me."
I just peed on my pajamas. Its gonna be a long night. Don't forget the cookies.
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
You can't just say you're dying of terminal cancer everytime they try to card you
im too broke to be in a relationship this close to the holidays
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
I'm taking the day off so I can get drunk at Whole Foods before noon
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
Dude. I’m playing chess through iMessage with a stripper. What has my life become.
Randomize
