What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
Dude. Muppets take manhattan on netflix instant. Pass my midterm or relive my childhood? Tough decision.
If my bosses could see, smell or hear me right now they would understand why its a horrible idea to keep the office open sundays
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
thank you for reminding me that I stumbled into a public place drunk at 9am wearing a chicks pants.
Off topic, but is it sad that Matthew and I are calculating how much sex we need to have in order to work off a taco bell burrito?
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
I'm hoping they send me home from work drunk.
The world is a different place when I'm actually having sex
First day in a very long time I've done more pushups than bong rips
there is a guy with a glowstick staff outside my house
Wine and a Lunchable. That would be depressing if it wasn't the pepperoni and mozzarella one. Those are the shit!
Randomize