this guy literally just gave me a gold star sticker for the "stellar" blow job i gave him. ashamed? i think not.
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
If I was 5 years younger and single...
She STILL wouldn't fuck you.
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
My life is literally the worst. I was just laughing so hard at how hot they looked feeding each other the brownies and then I was like DON'T CRY
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
I was trying to remember why my knees hurt then I remembered I was twerking on the countertops.
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
I'm reading the Hobbit in my blanket fort alone with a bottle of wine... all I need is dungeons and dragons to complete this superfecta of awesome
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
Randomize