Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
Remind me to tell you the Scottish bar story tomorrow
Remind me to tell you it was a shitty story when you're done telling it tomorrow
It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
Considering the fact that you wouldn't give me my cat last night because he was "destined for broadway", yeah, I'm accusing you of stealing him
Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
Pretty sure they aren't letting me back to karaoke night after I screamed "fuck every one of you tasteless hillbillies!!" because I felt they didn't clap loud enough for Jen.
woke up with empty beer can still duct taped into my fists and the word "dove" written on the back of my neck
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
just stepped out my front door and let the wind dry my naked body because I was too lazy to go search for a clean towel that may not even exist. I could live like this forever
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