Regardless, you never quit out of your interenet. You left your porn on the living room comp. Then you passed out four feet from the chair with your hand still down your pants. We decided that we should go back to her place instead. Worlds best wingman.
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
sorry for making everyone realize you look like bruce jenner
The beer is more important than you right now.
I'm crossing my legs while pooping. Taking a shit has never looked so proper.
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
At one point she whispered in my ear "I overdrew my bank account today" but besides that it was an awesome lap dance
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
I was like sure, i'll have a drink or two to end the night early. Next thing i know theres a ton of dudes in my house and like 3 gallons of wine. I cant do anything in moderation.
Dude, seriously, fucking stop introducing me as "Thomas, with the dick piercing." you are the worst wingman ever.
Randomize
