so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
my mom just wingman'd for me at a bar. i really don't know what else to say.
when life gives you lemons, puke and rally.
You know me. Don't need roses, just dick and food.
Think about if the incredible hulk and king kong had a retarded baby. That's the sound she made in my ear the entire time I fucked her.
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
The car just stinks of weed and we are all sitting here trying to hide it from my mom by rolling down the windows, like it's not coming off my sisters boyfriend
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
Last night at McDonalds, you lied across the counter, pulled up your shirt and yelled "BODY SHOTS"...
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
Uhm I have a bottle of tequila, a gallon of orange juice, and leggings. Now ask me again how hard im going? And that doesn't cover tomorrow.
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
Randomize