he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
Woke up on the floor with my glow stick in one hand & dollar bills in the other. Good. Morning.
I got out of bed with her to go smoke a bowl with her roommate which was fine but I passed out when I went upstairs to take a piss.
Yeah.. she's probably not gonna call.
We should have cut you off when you asked the can driver if you could ride in the trunk.
It's been over a year since we've been get-so-drunk-you-throw-beer-cans-at-fat-girls-drunk together. That needs to change.
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
The fact that you think I have a life is so flattering to me.
Crappy Mother's Day to you! Those of us who don't have children fill the void with hot sex, sleeping in, more sex, leisurely suntanning, foreign travel, overseas sex, paying cash for sports cars, watching TV, having sex on the floor in front of TV porn, lounging around the house, or whatever the hell we want.
He sent me nudes and then a text asking if I tried the new Cantina Bowl from Taco Bell. He sure does romance right, doesn't he?
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
I'm gonna write a book entitled "when you give a cop a cookie..."
I don't even want to know.
I don't even remember what dignity looks like anymore. I JUST WANTED TO ROAST SOME POTATOES
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