Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
now that im off birth control, the world is a much scarier place
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
What was the name of the cook I had sex with at Famous Dave's?
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
It is way too early in the summer for me to be coming into work still drunk.
Just got 20% off at the liquor store. How you ask? I asked if there was an "I got divorced today" discount.
Have you SEEN his girlfriend?? Or talked to her? Christ almighty I'd drink every day just to die let alone black out
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
I got you a "sorry you think I'm pregnant" present
Just saw the ex while I was at CVS at 3am buying Depends for my heavy flow
the dude in the apartments across the street got a video of me railing blake on your front steps last night
shit like this is why i dont let you drink vodka anymore ..
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
Randomize
