know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
please don't text me until you can spell three letter words again.
i'm having the hardest time convincing my roommates to go dumpster diving for pizza with me. i really miss you..
mallory made a planned parenthood decision maker flow chart again.
Oh we will ALWAYS be together. Or I'll have to delete my Facebook altogether. I've drunkenly boobie trapped photos of us into every album. There's no way I'd ever have the patience to go through that deletion process.
Watching her eat just hurts me
When she asked why I felt bad I said that it may have had something to do with the gin and cold pizza I had for breakfast.... And then I reflected on what my life has become.
Thanks to that wedding, I got to use the term "finger bang" more than I have since high school.
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
You're the best friend ever. I wouldn't want to do the walk of shame with anyone else.
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
I'm sorry for chipping my tooth on your vagina last night :(
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
Randomize
