is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
im so drunk with asians
where?
always
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
You insisted on squirting shots of captain morgan in your mouth with a turkey baster by like 930.
If Megan asks I spilled my water water all over her. I pissed on your roommate. You're welcome. I expect you to keep that on the down low. Seriously tell her the water thing
I like the odds of his and my children being professional athletes too. To support me in my old age, see I do think about the future.
Is it acceptable I'm laying in bed drinking airplane bottles?
In our world? Yes, but I'm disappointed yoiu are wasting airplane bottles. Save them for sneaky occasions
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
The spray paint was a bad idea, 'insert penis here' isn't coming off
you said you didn't want to carry the pizza box so just folded up the pizza and put it in your pocket
Shit my boyfriend's roommate thinks thinks: I love getting woken up to the sound of my roommate getting a blowjob
I shaved my balls for you. Do you have any idea how hard that is?
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
Randomize
