I accidentally asked my mom for a blowjob because 'mom' and 'molly' are next to each other in my address book.
you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
Just made out with the bride... She was still in her dress & I was still in my bridesmaid dress, how's that for an album picture?!?
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
I've decided to dedicate my life to finding out which flavor of Gatorade tastes best after you brush your teeth
We can't be fuck buddies. You stare into my eyes while we fuck.
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
New Serial podcast is out. We can listen to it tonight instead of having sex.
woke up and you werent here...its ok if we're never going to speak again but my furry hand cuffs are missing and i would like them back. thanks.
Typically a man doesn't buy a woman a drink in hopes of her laughing at his penis, but no one said I was normal.
Hot fire fighters installing my closet. Don't know how to go about this. Gonna nonchalantly take my shirt off and see what happens..
Randomize
