Remind them to make the "above the influence" commercial about us fallin off a ferris wheel
I may also break bread with strippers. Because it is passover.
Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
I am so 35 right now. Listening to REM, drinking red wine, and crying over an article about ecstasy in oprah magazine.
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
we convincced her parents we were only wasted meanwhile theire faces were morphing into one and i swear there was a reindeer in the background
Just cause I'm shitfaced wasted every night waking up in random beds all over Manhattan does not mean I'm a mess.
Truth. Respect the hustle.
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
I "liked" his changed relationship status just to show him I'm ok with the fact he found someone not as pretty as me
I had a spiritual reading tonight and my dead grandmother called me a whore.
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
Last night when I blacked out, I ate Chef Boyardee. I never want to be that drunk ever, ever again.
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
I deserve a medal for being woke up at 6am on my day off by your mother asking where your brother is
Randomize
