i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
i mean really, i cant compete with a cucumber
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
you kept begging me not to tell anyone you had been a bat in another life
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
He used his one phone call to tell me not to let anyone drink all his vodka until he could bail himself out.
My roomate asked me why she found condoms in the pringles container. I don't know what to tell her
Just got a voicemail from a guy referring tp himself "as chest hair guy". If I'm coming home to a intervention I understand.
Picking up hoes with my dad is going to make it a little harder, but ay, if thats how he wants to bond after 23 years, Ill give it a shot
You tried crawling through the apartment window instead of going through the wide open door next to it
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
We didn't get home until 4 am. Her mom let us in, confessed that she had sex with someone she worked with and said he had a small penis. I love this family.
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
Randomize
