omg i can't drink anymore.. i just pulled up my dress and started playing with my vagina
LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
Fucked Zombie Jesus at a Halloween party. I need Plan B before I give birth to the Antichrist.
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
I'm just chillin on the bathroom floor
Haha oh no
The bathroom floor is like my second bedroom on the weekends
I went to the bar without a bra on pretty sure you can go to Taco Bell drive thru with no pants
I really don't want to get drunk alone tonight. Like, I'll do it, but I won't enjoy it.
I'm serenading his dick with my words. I understand how poets get inspiration now.
You can say goodbye to our security deposit.
Already? What he do?
Opened a bag of topsoil at the party and spread it all over the living room. TOPSOIL!
Randomize
