it sounded like he was fisting a can of crisco.
Grow some girl-balls and come out already
Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
My workout was carrying 2 cases home from the grocery. It's Bowl Week.
He drunk dialed T-Mobile at 3am and talked to them for 45 minutes and got his phone bill lowered from $80 to $60... Best drunk dial ever.
I didnt shave my beard last night, so I could feel it while Im shrooming today
It's not a good night until someone eats a bagel covered in face mask thinking it's cream cheese
Would you get mad if I held a "how many dick pics can you get in one night" competition with my friend?
Pretty sure encouraging you to sleep with 2 different girls while keeping you in the good graces of both has lost me the ability to call myself a woman. But that's just the kind of friend I am; dedicated.
Getting my nails done with Diana... I'm going for the keep your friends close and the girl who's dating the guy you want to fuck closer
yeah im watching him make his speech now. cant take him seriously tho. hes talking about funding for education and all i can think about is how ive seen what he looks like wearing womens underwear...
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
I think I recall josh coming in to the room to tuck us in and give us a few condoms and I threw them back all furious and told him 'we don't use those.' Oh god
Randomize
