I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
You can't start the super bowl without starting a kitchen fire making cole slaw. Its unamerican.
I don't even want to know
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
Totally clawed myself in the face during sex. I can die happy?
I am literally sitting here with a jar of Nutella and a spoon, reading an article called "never drink alone again because now there's wine for cats." How single am I?
i was sitting in the back of a squad car completely stoned watching airplanes take off
I spent most of the stoned conversation with my dad proving to him that the Newfoundland is an actual dog and NOT a Snuffaluffagus-esque figment of my stoned imagination, while laughing over the fact there is actually a place caller Dildo, Canada. Have YOU taken time to be a good dad today?
I don't know which I need first...a shower or a confessional.
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
I NEED TO TAKE A FUCKING BREAK. MY VAGINA IS SMOKING.
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
Yeah it got awkward when the two guys we were playing beer pong against realized that I'd hooked up with both of them. Their teamwork declined after that.
I just upped my southern womanhood. Taking whiskey and Kleenex pocket packs to the funeral.
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