Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
i just shit an entire soup salad and breadsticks from the olive garden... bud light wins again.
just caught my little brother jacking off the family pet
Last night, you attempted to motor boat my vagina then proceeded to blow raspberries on it. Don't ever do that again.
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
Do you remember unrolling paper towels as a blanket?
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
Date #3: He brought me a mason jar full of organic weed that he grew on his property. Will you be the witness when we sign our marriage license?
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
WHY DID YOU DRUNK DIAL MY MOM?!
Because mine was sitting on the bar stool next to me...
it's not rock bottom until you fall down an escalator on the way home from a hookup and have to have you dad come pick your drunkass up at 3am. Adulthood.
HAMMERED.. I made a peanut butter and jelly sandwich with toilet paper instead of bread...
Randomize
