My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
no one should ever give us hovercrafts
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
A freshman just referred to Home Improvement as 'tim the tool man show'. People born after 1990 are not people.
I hope, cuz I was gunna get "celebritory drunk" but now I have to get "I'm disappointed drunk"
i totally just wrapped her wedding gift in tin foil. These are the skills 2 bachelor's degrees have given me.
you wouldn't believe how quickly birth control dissolves in vodka
It's like you're the one guy who got the "girls have clits" memo.
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
Have you ever just woke up in the morning and felt pregnant
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
I was sitting here smiling wondering why i'm so fucking happy at work. cookie has kicked in
i woke up fully clothed with teenage dream on repeat. something is wrong with me
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