u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
i would think by now you'd realize that my penis does whatever the fuck it wants and i have no control over the situation
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
Cocaine Wednesdays have to stop turning into no work Thursday
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
I don't care how hungry or impatient you are. the highest setting on the microwave is 100% and you better not take it appart to add power. This is not the Enterprise.
He says he invented a new sex move called The Redbird that we can only do when I'm on my period. Should I be concerned?
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
He tried to do the do on me last night and my exact words were "stay away from my princess parts. they're renovating."
And the view of you in reverse cowgirl is arguably the most spectacular view ever... And I've seen the Eiffle tower, the colosseum, mountains of Hawaii, Michaelangelo's David, and the Mona Goddamn Lisa. Just saying.
Woke up with a 6lb bucket of Redvines with a note that said "I'm sorry" care to explain?
Dude, tumbleweeds have been rolling through my bed lately. This is my dryest dry spell since I was married.
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
Randomize
