My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.
He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
I could seriously attempt to try and saw my head in half with a butter knife cause im pretty sure it could not hurt any more than it already does
You said your legs stopped working and then pulled yourself around the floor with your hands.
That explains the wood chips stuck in my nipples.
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
This ER has an aquarium in it!!!
God I hope the gutter I die in is nice. You know, for a gutter.
I woke up in a toga after going to a Hawaiian party. I don't even know.
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
Ahh yes. I lost my pants and swimming suit and phone charger. And I've found out who has them all even while hungover. Successful day. Nice party too.
Seriously, I really just burned my nipple making ravioli.. I'd explain, but no reasoning makes this acceptable:/
Randomize
