I am puke
Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
thursday was literally the first time i didnt drunk eat since the bush administration and it was only because i was fucking someones boyfriend. making a mental note to do that more often.
Missed another period
I almost hope you're pregnant, this is unfair.
There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
You know what id love more than anything right now? ..a back rub while eating biscuits and gravy
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
I went out to have a smoke, and next thing I know, he's got me bent over a picnic table praying to deities I don't believe in. You should have been there.
He cannot be your sugar daddy. He looks like a literal hot dog.
They ran out of toilet paper so I used the rug to wipe my vagina
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
9 am booty call on your ex's birthday. Fuck yea
Randomize
