guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
Guess what I'm doing tonight? Tacos and strip chess.
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
Remember when I made fun of you when you ran out of toilet paper on your brother's birthday and had to use coffee filters? Guess what happened today
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
There is this guy in here. He didn't even get ice cream he just filled up his cup with mini marshmellows, chocolate syrup, about a lb of grahm cracker crumbs and walked around to everyone in the shop saying "hey, hey look here, I just made fucking s'mores." He was SO proud of himself.
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
I fought off a bull with my bare hands while he went off to have sex with her against a wall. I’m more upset about the fact that no one is acknowledging what I did.
She won't let me meet her hot new boy toy just because she thinks it'll lead to us having a threesome. It's not fair. I thought we were friends...
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