Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
New dating criteria: what kind of ex will this person be?
You asked him to stand still, you put your leg on his shoulder, started dry humping the air
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
Sometimes you have a life bucket list item checked off like 4 tits in your face simultaneously and getting to bang them both. I'm sorry I bailed on skiing but not really. Coming over with a boombox playing 'heat of the moment' as soon as I can hail a cab cause I'm too drunk to drive still...
So I've been spending my morning trying to figure out if there's a corealation between Wednesday margarita night and the boat that's now in my living room.
It's no shave November. This is our time.
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
Look I'm really hungover so let's try this again. In 5 mins you're gonna call me and tell me that you're on your way with xannies, iced coffee and a back rub
He said a lot of nice things about me, it was really uncalled for.
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
Randomize
