I'm not a real person
I'm sorry, everyone knows that
No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?
Lmao what?
It's a yes or no question.
it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
he said i was so drunk that i shared a urinal with him and we simultainiously peed
This is the last weekend of getting drunk and having sex all nite with the plumber. I'm exhausted all weekend and I'm never going to finish the remodel at this rate
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
The 78 year old woman who works next to me divorced her ex husband, remarried her first husband, and retired all in one day. I'd say it makes your breakup on Valentine's day pretty insignificant.
lonely sunday drunk me decided to tweeze my pubes. HORRIBLE IDEA
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
Not sure if buying Twisted Teas for the alcoholics posted up outside the gas station counts as paying it forward but I am optimistic.
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
Randomize
