I just spent the last hour spooning with my drug dealer.
what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
Matt just took me to visit my puke stain from 2 weeks ago at the train station...I'm fucking impressive
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
He like walks around to open car doors for me. Has already held my hair while I barf and still likes me. What. Is. Happening.
Since he's sober and out of jail, he acts like we are the worst people on Earth. Fuck him, the only acceptable time in life to do coke is the early twenties. He won't take that from us.
I know how to make vodka btw in case you want to come over and do a science project
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
The dick lei will go down in squad history
i can believe you didnt get any, i was wing-girling the shit out of him
all you did was repeatedly scream GET IT IN
Do you remember feeding the vacuum doritos last night?
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
So it turns out that a Ford Focus does not fit in a Walmart cart return.
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