There was this creepy guy on the bus. So I puffed out my stomach & began so hold my stomach like I was preggers.
there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
Bring your friend that fell asleep in the bathroom for my friend.
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
It was like giving head to a cactus.
Why are you awake at 6am and liking photos from rando Russian chicks on Instagram?
Because bro, I don't want your dick being touched mid conversation.
And then the night went full on bisexual.
I walked past his mum on the way out and she offered me toast in a napkin "for my travels". Being home from uni is weird.
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
Randomize
