let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
RA chick in a Christmas onsie chased us up 5 flights of stairs. I need to stop violating guest policy
No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
Because I can't get laid, I'm day-drinking and hunting squirrels in the backyard. You can take the girl out of Montana...
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
Just brought out that old CCM hockey helmet. The one covered in sharpie penises with "DRUNK BUCKET" written across the front. The number of tally marks / initials from tonight's drunk stunts alone is equal parts inspiring and alarming.
Fuck you fireball...just straight up fuck out of here
Okay, new plan. Get drunk, eat breadsticks. It's going to be great.
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
You screamed out "happy birthday Jesus" followed by chugging Bacardi straight out the bottle
My ex gave me head because she said she didn't enough when we were dating... Best ex ever? I think yes.
you took my virginity. you can't have my alcohol too.
He's here walking around DRUNK AS FUCK in a Kobe Bryant number 8 jersey... Tucked in.
I didn’t say it was classy, I said it was sexy
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