I got into my dads silver toyota in the back seat to get picked up and 2 mins later I asked my dad when are we leaving, then an old mexican woman turned around. wrong toyota I'm guessing.
Just opened a bottle with my rape whistle. At least it's finally getting used for something.
Uhg.. This isn't fair. I just want to have sex with you until i lose consciousness, wake up and start over... is that so much to ask?
I lost my grandmas ring. Probably during the handjob.
Put you drinking hat aside for Tuesday. My buddy is bartending!
I just puked in my drinking hat.
Good news. Isn't krabs. Bad news. Not sure what it is. Worse news. Encouraged not to fuck till known. Great news getting laid tonight
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
There is nothing more embarrassing than your birth control alarm going off while in a meeting with your boss and they tell you to take it.
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
Oh shit. The hangover. It has taken 20 mins and 5 attempts to tie my shoelaces
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
I came so hard my ears popped.
it's like my eyeball is being humped by my eyelid
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