My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
She just got in car wreck. Wreck sex is better than break up sex
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
I was fingering her, she was moaning, and we were singing Mulan
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
Was so drunk I had to masturbate face up cuz I thought I was gonna be suffocated by the pillows.
He's not replying to my booty call. Like wtf. You have ONE PURPOSE IN LIFE.
Fool me once shame on you. Fool me twice and I'm the idiot missing half an eyebrow again.
This morning on my way to work I saw a guy ride his bike straight into a woman and her dog while trying to light a bowl. Thought of you.
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
I've decided to become a librarian so I can drunkenly quote The Mummy and have it be legit.
You thought her boot was a stray dog in your house..
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
Randomize
