i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
Whatever, she only has 293 friends, she cant afford to be defriending me..
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
The fact that I am sitting home writing a resume while you're out inducing vomiting makes me feel like way more of an adult than I'm ready to be.
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
Been awake for 50 some odd hours. I've discovered I can spew out maaaad papers whilst coked out of my face. My roommates probably think I'm dead. Money well spent. You?
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
I got titty fucked last night and you're breastfeeding your newborn. Clearly we have gone two totally different paths since 2011.
Going on a first date tonight...pros: my boobs look amazing. Cons: my abortion isn't until next week.
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.
I'm drinking on a Thursday because I can
Today is Wednesday you jobless drunk
Sitting on couch, workout sex makes me more sore than regular workout
I was puking for like ten minutes when I realized my parents were fucking in the shower and were afraid to come out
Randomize
