If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
Yo dude either Brian has herpes or he was jerking off to Web MD 'cause I just walked in on him
Some creeps at the festival started talking to me, so I told them I was going change my tampon. Worked like a charm.
She didn't even ask about the dinosaur pinata in my trunk. Like at this point I think these are the things she expects from me
I am getting drunk. And i'm going to paint my face and slide down the stairs like Pochahontas. Goodbye
Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.
I'm lowering my standards just so I can get laid, but I draw the line when a guy spells cool kewl
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
The three yr old girl I nanny grabbed a pole just now and is chanting "this is my house"
Sounds like you at that dive bar last weekend
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
i now understand why vodka
I've never known a porn star before
There's not even an emoji for this
I know where his drugs are but not my pants
and eventually we just all took our pants off
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