How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
Some advice...don't play drunk rock em sock em robots. With actual people. I have bruises EVERYWHERE.
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
Being home sucks. I haven't drank in like a week. Or smoked cigs. Or done drugs. Or had sex. My body is shutting down.
Omg. It's like you're one of those deprived kids living in a third world country. We need to save you.
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
Like real life can suck my metaphorical dick right now.
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
Low key that was incredibly dangerous to let me wield a sword at this point in the night
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
That same damn squirrel keeps staring at me like I did something wrong. Nature knows when you're hung over.
Hot guy next to me on the flight lives near my grandparents. There’s a 100% chance I end up drunk and naked in his hot tub
Happy Thanksgiving to me!!!
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