Come here. I'm drunk. Family Function. Intense Pro-life vs. Pro-choice debate. Bring Republicans.
My 54 year old father just sent me a YouTube link on my school email titled "Walrus sucks his own dick" and then wrote in the email "I wish I were a walrus". What the fuck is wrong with my family?
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
My underwear are in the stairs so apparently I did take the dog out.
I feel like every time I get the courage to masturbate to a guy from Game of Thrones, they kill him off.
When nipples stop being hilarious I'll stop getting them out in public.
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
Personally, if my roommate had a nice friend who made me dinner, gave me free beer, a 4am meal, a couch to sleep on in an apartment on the beach, and breakfast when I woke up, and I found out that said roommate was fucking her, I'd be all... right on! She's cool! Thanks for the quesadillas!
I'm wearing sunglasses around my house. Douchebag status. The hangover is real.
Judging by the ckaw marks on my back i'm gonna go out on a limb and say that blonde chick was a werewolf. A sexy, kinky werewolf.
So I bought that bathing suit yesterday and got buyers remorse so I returned it today and then stole it. Win win.
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
Hey remind me the get the pancakes out of my jacket
things i am: 1) still drunk 2) still wearing my leopard onesie 3) still gonna make my 9am lecture despite the odds CAN I GET A HIGH FIVE
Randomize
