I refuse to go to this wedding alone, or sober. Practice drunk-walking in heels and a Bridesmaid dress begins tonight.
I sang again at the bar lastnight I don't think alanis morrset knew when she wrote you outta know that the drunk version was going to be go fuck yourself Josh and Chelsea. I love $2 wells.
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
Walking down the street trying to find the pants I had on last night
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
Everyone at work loved my story about sobering up in a river with no bra on.
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
You were peeing off the rooftop and told everyone sometimes you just gotta go
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
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