that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
Picking up third year law school girls is like MILF hunting for beginners
I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
A hangover is a type of food poisoning. Makes me feel better about calling out of work.
U owe me five dollars for that paper towel you bet i wouldnt eat last night
I'll probably just lay on my couch bra-less sipping wine out of a straw so I don't have to lift my head.
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
I been sleeping but occasionally wake up feeling like tiny elves are in my throat ripping my esophagus to shreds with their bare hands.
Somehow, you made that sound extremely magical and not at all painful.
This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family.
This whole pope visit thing is ruining me having sex.
I woke up with glitter and eggshells in my bed wtf
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