she was so not down for the gang bang
So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
my breakfast just consisted of gushers (made with real fruit!) and they're trying to tell me im not eating right?
Please tell me you saw the asian lady with the medical mask on cutting her lawn with scissors.
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
He fucked me so hard I had an asthma attack. I'm like the sickly poster child for celibacy.
I stuck my fake eyelashes to his balls after he passed out.
I've had three separate encounters with cops in the last 9 hours.... In two different states
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
We work out, have really intense sex, and then eat cereal marketed for children. We have a system, okay?
Jack said he hasn't jerked off in like two weeks and he's like a smoldering volcano who wants to bury you like Pompeii with his man gravy
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