so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
She STILL went home with me even when I said yes when she asked if I had an infectious disease. Turns out she asked if I had an infectious spirit...well she has my infectious spirit now
i was so high last night while i was driving i felt like i was riding a bike with no pedals
He was so drunk that he tried to backflip off a baby chair.. How do you think that ended?
Dude, I found another chunk missing out of my tooth. Fuck drinking on tuesdays.
I woke up with like grass burns all over my body, i'm pretty sure i made out with someone under a bus. . . but i'm not sure
that trick or treat candy bucket that we used to collect beer money last night was very helpful when I vomited in it this morning
Just found the cutest bag of coke under my bed. I'm going to get fucked up and bleach the cat vomit out of my sheets.
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
And really all I wanted was to be like "hey can I borrow your dick for a few hours this weekend?"
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
Trust me, dating 38 and 20 year old dudes at the same time is the best. Money plus all of the sex. Finally figured out this relationship thing.
I woke up in someone's flat in Budapest and then got offered a free piercing before I left. Best. Hookup. Ever.
Just calm down. My foot long super joint and I will be over shortly.
Randomize