one two three fourrrrnication!
Holy jesus god. My teeth taste like street.
I called the bar to ask if they found my Id and credit card and they remembered me as 'the girl who signed her receipt in blood'
Im sitting next to shitfaced santa at the cuse game. My plan to be on television is now flawless
then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
Dude, my sex life is so sad since I started having feelings.
Sleeping with just one person sucks
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
What kind of paramedic is he, some dude is dying back there and he's trying to get laid
Can't tell if it's the drugs or science magic, but I *THINK* that mouse just turned into a squirrel.
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
Randomize
