Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
Just had a drunken guest at my hotel threaten to "throw a fuckin fireball at my face"
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
I vaguely remember telling a bum she was worth more than this
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
I fell down the stairs while taking the dog out last night. I was laying there with the dog licking me face and my neighbor just stepped over me
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
WINE AND FILM. TALK ABOUT AN UPGRADE FROM NETFLIX AND CHILL.
I finished my first whiskey and I'm waiting to have a second one in celebration when your pregnancy test comes back negative
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
I’ve gone two rounds already this morning and I’m ready for a third. The moon is in the house of sluticus hornius.
Seriously. There were about 4 hours in which I swear my nose was not attached to my face.
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
I remember waking up on the bathroom floor and seeing my teeth behind the toilet
Randomize
