When i tried to give you something that wasn't tequila...like water....you kept saying it was against your religion.
I've always been the spiritual type.
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
He asked if I smoke and I said "only fools like you on the basketball court!" Then I started crying. I think I'm about to have my period.
There are 27 signatures on my ass. What the hell happened last night?
Every time someone made a cup you congratulated them by letting them sign your ass.
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
Like we were literally doing coke off his insulin pump
She kept calling herself DJ McDonalds and said she wanted to make some Egg McMusic.
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
I just got the most majestic image of a potato sack full of dildos getting whipped at your head in slow motion.
This wouldn't be the first time my boss has seen me topless
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
I got outsmarted by a door tonight. Twice.
Panties = found
Our livers get a hall pass for 2020, right?
Randomize
