i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
my mouth tastes like poor choices
i was drunk at family dinner telling about my gay brothers sex ads on criags list
He poured syrup on all those broken dishes because "syrup is magical, and by the time we wake up, they'll be fixed."
Played "Which Couple Will Take Me Home Tonight" at the bar last night... I can now cross three-some off my bucket list
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
At least you have booty calls.
True. I just waste them though. I feel like I need to be told "there are people in this world who would give anything for just one and you have two." You know in that same tone your parents told you about the starving people in china
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
The word cocktail makes me want to rip my liver out and nail it to a cross.
I took the weekend off because he and I were supposed to go to Vegas for our anniversary and get a hooker remember?
Ah, yes. Who says romance is dead?
Speaking of mom and dad and Halloween... Mom bought a size small slutty nurse outfit last night. So yeah, they're getting hammered
I keep having dreams where I tie him up and eat cookies off of him while riding him. Wtf brain.
I think I may have fully transcended this spectrum of life. I can see beams of light man. Down to the photons
What
The only downside is I can't stop skipping
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
Randomize
