i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
Remember that foreign guy who never talked last night? He just came out of my bathroom when I woke up.
I'm gonna be a few minutes late, some asshole just fell off the ferry so we had to stop.
Have to get circumcised. Doctor goes, "On the bright side, you can tell people your dick is too wide."
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
the bruise you left on my ass looks like africa. the other just looks like a hand.
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
I just had to close my blinds so my neighbors wouldn't see me drinking a beer at 9 am. GO CHIEFS!
I keep getting congratulated for drinking 2 six packs of mikes hard and winning the Olympic marathon and I don't remember this shit and now my throat is on fire
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
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