Stephanie. Problem. I think if I had met Murphy before Ben I would have fucked him instead.
Don't worry about your Murphy feelings. I may have fucked him no matter what.
what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
That penis you're staring at is the penis of heartbreak. Stay away. It will break your heart AND keep you away from other penises. BACK. OFF. THE PENIS.
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
We ate a mysterious delivered pizza which no one ordered and then the wii wouldn't work so 20 of us watched porn on two laptops. Drunk took the awkward away.
Look. You've gotta stop making this about you, and make it about my vagina.
I shit myself. Legit. And I burnt my tongue. Unrelated incidents, but related in the sense of general discomfort.
I feel like drug tests are a little less "random" when you are employed by your father.
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
I’m sorry I got high and yelled about the patriarchy.
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
Randomize
