Almost ran you over in the parking lot. You look good
Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
You were so drunk that some guy dressed as Harry Potter pointed his wand at you and screamed "Accio SHITSHOW"
So I'm pretty sure I fucked the dept of homeland security guy on my kitchen table. No recollection of it, but there are signs.
Im sweating champagne and woke up in nothing but a tuxedo jacket. What didnt go wrong last night?
He came to my house drunk at two a.m., got in the hot tub, refused to get out until he smoked a blunt, and said "That's what brothers and sisters are for."
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
I walked in on him successfully eating chips and masturbating at the same time. I don't know whether I should be ashamed or proud.
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
They're basically the Kennedys. This is the family I fucked in to. I'm so proud of my vagina as much as it feels shitty for my heart.
Good news: I actually puked in my bathroom, the vomit from the living room was actually from someone else.
That's horrible but hilarious
I'm going to miss college.
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
…wtf were in those pills mom gave me
And by "I love him" I mean "I want his tongue down my throat.
Randomize
