It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
Talking her gay man friend into dancing with me officially makes me the world's best wingman. ever.
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
Well, at first I was really confused. But then I realized that he was talking from his penis's perspective... in third person.
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
Every time you blow me I should make a paper crane and we'll make them into a chain and hang them from the ceiling. And then whenever we have people over and they ask what the cranes are for I'll say "reminders" and wink at you.
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
U were yelling that I wasn't generous or supportive. Then you kneeled and said this weird prayer about the windows and doors of your life.
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
I fell out of my bed whilst trying not to move this morning. I AM ADULT
I had ice cream for breakfast two days in a row.
SUPER ADULTS
Also we're getting drunk and sledding down Caroline street. See you soon.
Randomize
