I have glitter on my penis. Do you know anything about this?
I know it's getting bad when I wash the bong more often then the dishes
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
I know everytime I get my paycheck I'm like "I should probably renew my gym membership" and then I just buy more alcohol
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
You wanted to go find him and we told you to sit down cause you kept stumbling. You yelled " I CAN STAND!! It's the walking part I can't figure out!"
I think I ripped my underwear last night doing drunk squats
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
If I die tonight, you and your brother can split my money evenly for college only.
all $38?
Randomize
