Screwed.edu
At first I felt shameful, waking up naked next to a box of oreos and half a can of cake frosting...then I realized, this could be a bigger discovery than Atlantis.
are you serious? he told me he had to cancel bc his grandma came into town
well unless his grandma is 21 and blonde, HE LIED TO YOU IDIOT
Wearing the BK Crown on the throne while dropping the kids off at the pool? Yes, one of my life's goals. Win
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
I've come to accept that no matter where I step in our apartment, your underwear will be there.
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
Now you know my pain. Live with it. Own it. Recognize it. Cause its like shitting napalm.
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
Mom and I are both drunk and walking around the Strip. It's like the hangover but with a lot more bathroom breaks.
And then I discovered that while drunk last night I called the NAACP and left an angry voicemail demanding they fix the racism at my school
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
Randomize
