I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
sometimes u just have to say fuck it and help a straight sixteen year old break into her uncles gay bar.
got a blowjob in the bar bathroom, got arrested for public intoxication, and found a big bag of weed on the ground on my walk home from the station. my friday night could have been a movie
like, you weren't just lying there, you were wrapped in what appeared to be the skin of a wolf, chanting doomsday prophecies
THE END IS NEIGH
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
Your boyfriend being in jail is really helping my social life! #GotASingleDrinkingBuddyAgain
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
Let's make this a nightly thing. You'll explain the Watergate scandal like you're telling me a bedtime story while I eat popcorn high as fuck
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
Holy. Shit. I just remembered all the lapdances....
Played Gay Bar on the jukebox and pissed off the Republicans here. Best day before birthday ever.
Randomize
