Remind me to tell you about the dream where im a fighting a super hero whose only weakness is sunkist.
At some point I made a semi-conscious decision that i was okay with sleeping in my own vomit.
Had a student tell me he misses the old Four Loko. He's in 7th grade. No one is allowed to claim I started drinking too young ever again.
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
Teflon bitches. Nothing fucking sticks to this kid, not even a kid. Maury Povitched this shit outta that situation.
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
I took shots of absinthe with my mom just now. Except awful things.
the manly guy you want to date so badly? he's at the club. as a drag queen. wearing higher heels than you own. think about that.
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
This popcorn tastes like salt and regret. It reminds me of the first blowjob I ever gave.
You've ruined popcorn for me.
I found a door knob in my purse this morning, I hope whoever it belonged to doesn't need it today.
hahahah
I asked him for something to clean up with after sex and he handed me a sham wow. A SHAM WOW
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
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