I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
I don't usually arrange sex via text message
seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
I KNOW you don't honestly think you can pay me back in lotto tickets.
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
I want to die. Marc and I were making out in the hallway and fell into a fire hose in a glass case. It shattered everywhere. Everyone thought we fell out a window. I think I have glass in my back. Awesome.
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
Life just isn't the same without him waking me up at 4 in the afternoon with a look of pity on his face...
He came up to me looked at my tits said they were huge, rated them a 7 and then asked if girls really do masterbate. To make it better, he put his hand up to my face and said his penis is longer than my face...
I just want somebody who'll randomly bring me pizza and lovingly squeeze my butt. Is there a dating app for that, do you think?
I HAVE A TEST I'M SORRY YOUR UN SUCKED DICK ISN'T MY FIRST CONCERN
I just realized this morning that my fridge is stocked with coronas, hot dogs, and cheese dip. And I just got waxed. High-five, your best friend is on track to be all kinds of slutty fun this wkd.
Randomize
