Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
This is the last time I call a hotel to see if you or some random guy paid for the room last night.
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
All I've consumed over the last couple days is Vanilla Coke, semen, and Coors. I don't think today will be any different.
no, i remember trying to staple my nipples together. I just can't figure out where the hell stapler came from.
I'm done being drunk I wish I could snap my fingers and be sober
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
Left my house last night with a girlfriend, $200 in my wallet, and 10 finger nails. Came home with no girlfriend, an empty wallet, and 9 1/2 finger nails.
Yea, I had a bad night too aha
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
No. I'm home alone and 100% dickless. I hate my life.
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
Sorry about kicking you last night but you don’t mess with a girls margarita bucket. Ever
Randomize
